when will the mist clear,
i think of myself as a strong and rational individual
but somehow i have become a person i don't know.

what's funny is that they say time heals all woulds...
but i find it to be a non.starter
i am sad
i am sad
i am sad
and i have no idea how to pull myself out of this grey cloud
i don't know how else to express the emotions that well inside my being
the last straw a swiped bottle of jack
who knew that such a small decision would cleave this already fractured picture
i am sad
and don't know how to get past it
i feel like i should fuck anything and everything in my path,
but alas i know it would be futile and of no consequence
i loved you
i love you
i feel as thou i will never get over you
never get over you
my heart hurts
my soul aches
i am lost

life as i know it is over, never to be the same
am i being over dramatic?
NO
i am talking about the fact that the man of my dreams my true soul mate the person with whom i would have spent the rest of my life with is now gone

in one, no make that two fell swoops the love of my life is gone never to return

i have written about this boy and our other break-up
and i had a second chance at it and now it all over again

maybe i don't deserve him, or to have love in my life that is the way that it seems to me these days

it like everything in my world is now going south

i think i will become a statistic
and die a spinster cat lady

there are days in which i question my sanity...do i let my heart tell my mind things that are not true...am i looking at the world thru rose colored glasses, has my vision been compromised...i am in love...is this a a blessing or a curse?

a full year has past since i placed text to web... a year of ups and downs to say the least...a great new years, a wonderful 26th b.day party, a devastating break-up, a summer of life lived to the fullest, a fall of renewal, apologies, declarations of love, x.mas to the nth degree, a quiet new years, and 2008 began on the right foot.

i must say that the 2007 season has taught me a few things. i am a much stronger woman. i have grown ten fold in the last 12months, traveled the country, bonds of friendship have be nurtured, broken and rekindled.

i have made the decision that any smoking is bad...being fat sucks...and damnit i want to be a full time employee of the corporate world in order to have and do all the things that are in my heart.

being loved is an amazing thing and i wouldn't trade it for the world. i have come to the realization that my mother is more, much more that i ever thought, knew or ever could have imagined. she is who i want to be when i grow up.

2008 is no drama, full of love, friendship, good food, new places and great theatre.