i just...

i so want to call you but i am afraid that it will seem to forward, that i am pushing too hard, that i want to much...i am caught between a rock and a brick wall...i feel like i have step into something that is not going to be.

i just want to hold you, to be held.

i just want to see you, to look into your eyes and see you.

i just want to be near you, close to you.

i feel a nearness that is yet to be explained. maybe it's the sexual freedom that i have with you. the ability to explpore, the confortablness is expressign what i want, what i need, what new things i want to try.

for i have only once before felt such liberation. and now that i am older i have an apprication for that

i am willing
i am ready
i am