second of infinity

wondering how the 2nd of infinity will be different from the 1st

house full

turkey day was not on the 4th thursday of november
it was the last sunday of the month
my mother
her mother
my wife
her co-workers
and our dog
it was the first holiday of our newly married life
i cleaned
i prepped
i cooked
i was the consummate hostess
i wanted to make this day one that would set the tone for what is to come
we made this holiday our own
it felt right
it felt good

said "I married the right one!"
said "I never knew that you were so domestic."
said "You did it!"

it made me feel good, great...
but i knew that i could
glad i could show them this is what i love to do and glad that they enjoyed themselves

happy thanksgiving to us

the next step in the journey

the discussion of what/when/who/how was had years ago
the journey started then stalled
but the notions were still there
now 3 years of our time later we begin

i surprised myself with the fearlessness that i approached it all
being hands on with the process that was not initially my intention
i see know that i am needed more than i first thought
that makes me feel
that makes me feel
the word that i want is not anywhere in the mass lexicon of my brain
the feeling is new indescribable
maybe tomorrow i will know

i hope that my suggestions are taken
that a journal, blog, even a moment is started to map this transition
not for me, but for oneself and for our future child
to know from where you began and to see the authenticity with which you haven chosen to live your life
with or without the support of the general assembly

i am proud of you and i want our tribe to know of your bravery

today is day one of the first of many firsts

i am excited